Hey, Reader!

Much of the work in recovering from chronic symptoms is about working with fear of the symptom rather than the symptom itself.

Learning to listen to the fear and meeting the needs of the fearful parts of myself has been the most important part of my own healing and and that of my clients.

But most of us are never taught how to do this or, even more than that, don’t recognize that there is a part of us that is deeply fearful in the first place.

Fear may be showing up in different ways that we don’t typically label with that emotion per se.

• Resistance (to change, to new concepts, to doing activities, to connecting with others, and more)
• Distraction and inability to notice your current sensory experience for more than 2 seconds before the brain is off in other thoughts
• Frustration, irritation, and impatience with symptoms, with self, with others
• The constant seeking of information or understanding or clarity

These are all ways the brain is acting to try to keep us safe when it is feeling fearful. It often does this because there has been a long history of ignoring, discrediting, not allowing fear to be seen or heard. These alternative ways have become the default but when we cant recognize the fear that drives, them they continue to persist too.

Check and see if any of the alternative versions of fear might apply to you.

Here are some steps to start to investigate fear and to work with it instead of shutting it out

1. Slow your breathing
2. Bring your attention to fear or the alternative way fear may be showing up for you (resistance, distraction, frustration, seeking knowledge, and others.)
3. Call it out. “I see you.” Let it know you would like to get to know it better.
4. See if you can push it out in front of you in your mind’s eye to get a bit of distance from it. Maybe give it a face, a character to help you envision this part of yourself and be able to offer it some compassion.
5. Invite the fear to let you know what its really afraid of and promise you will not push it aside and give it a space to be fully seen and heard.
6. Empathise with that fear. “I can see how that could be scary.” “It’s okay that you are afraid.”
7. Ask for what it needs to feel a little safer or like it doesn’t have to work so hard to keep it all together
   • Needs might include a feeling it is not alone, it is seen, heard, and believed, reassurance that it will really be okay, gentle encouragement, expression, soothing touch or movement, and more
8. Then see if you can meet those needs in words or actions toward your fearful self

*Please note that you may or may not get a response during steps 5 and 6 because this part of your brain may not trust you will listen openly quite yet or it is an underutilized muscle that needs time to build. You can remind this part that you will keep showing up and holding space. Then do so. You need to develop more trust through keeping your promise.

Here is a video to help guide you through this process

In this very fear fueled time we are living through, it is my deep hope that we can find ease through our own internal relationship with fear and the ability to meet the needs of our fearful parts. I’m curious how this exercise lands for you.

Sending love your way!

Katie